A “RUBBING” OF MY PRESENT STATE OF MIND

Tired – uninterested – mildly disgusted with myself – wondering why I put off so much work until the last useful day – trying to focus on the positive – pleasant time with family – lots of rest – time spent reading – extra sleep – wondering still, why is it that I do this so often to myself – the accusatory voice tells me that I’m unfit for anything – that I’m an utterly useless human being – the rational voice chimes in stating that this can’t be true because the evidence around me, nice wife, nice kids, decent job, relatively well-run classrooms – surely these must count for something – the accusatory voice argues that these so-called bits of evidence are actually proof of how worthless I am because who else, after being undeservingly given so much, would so rudely and selfishly disrespect it all through such blatant procrastination – William Shatner pops up and says, “it’s fun being me – is it fun being you?” – and after a moment of thought, my psyche smirks a bit and says, “Yeah – a lot of the time it is.”